i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
