he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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