I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
