why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
