Who did Billy Mays play for?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize