Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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