Cold hands, warm shart.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I party with great urgency now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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