You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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