We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
