Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
