The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
