I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
