For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
