Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
