He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
