fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
