im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
