That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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