It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
