I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
