Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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