I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
