yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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