Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
