You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
