His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
