he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
