I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize