I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
