just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
