why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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