have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize