This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
