R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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