true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
