Cold hands, warm shart.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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