Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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