You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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