Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
