We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
do herpes really smell.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I could fuck to npr.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
