And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
