got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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