Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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