i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
