1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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