another moral hangover. fuck.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
