Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
