6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
