ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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