She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
