His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
