just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
