well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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