How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
barbara walters just said penis...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
