yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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