then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
