last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
