I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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