there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
