She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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