Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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