If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
