you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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