she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
