i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize