You can't special order awesome
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Randomize
