come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
