I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
