yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
